There are days when I feel like I’m living my best life.
I understand my privilege and love my resolve. Even with all the noise around me, I find clarity in my life like a silent whisper gently leading me to my destiny. Things don’t feel out of reach and my confidence in myself is high. Failure doesn’t seem like an option and everything seems possible. Everything feels right.
But I know that nothing lasts forever, for if it did, I would not be able to appreciate this feeling of invincibility. Maybe that is what it’s all about — to yearn and believe in a future where this temporary lasts forever.
As we grow up, our risk-taking appetite reduces. With every decision, we’re calculating and finding the least risky way out. Comfort has become second nature to us and we think that if something isn’t convenient, it’s not worth it. That is exactly why I have massive respect for people who take risks and throw themselves into the lion’s den.
It’s easy to let things flow and be a victim of nature when things don’t work out. But it’s tough to take charge and claim responsibility for failures. No one likes being told that they’re wrong, but there are people out there who’re okay with being wrong in search of that one decisive moment where everything goes right.
When I look back at my own life, I see a little guy who was braver than the person I am today. He just went into things uncertain. He didn’t know how to cycle, but he picked the bicycle and tried nevertheless. A real risk-taker! I owe him everything because had he not, I’d probably not have known the joy of so many different experiences. I remember how that kid couldn’t wait to grow up. But now that I’m older, I wish he stayed there a little longer.
We’re always in search of our destiny. But maybe it’s not a search. It’s a creation that begins with the birth of a dream. We carry within us so many dreams — some small, some grand and some really fun. They don’t go away in all our lifetime, they just make space for newer dreams to come take it’s place.
As much as it aches to think of those forgotten dreams, the very nature of having so many dreams leads us from one thing to another until we find what we truly love.
There have been brief phases in my life where the sense of security I got from my stability led me to new avenues. When you don’t have to worry about paying bills, you inadvertently find yourself doing things that you genuinely enjoy. You can finally start living on your own terms and become a master of your time and energy. Couple that with a partner you love and your life could potentially coincide with the forever you always dreamt of having. How beautiful would that be!
But at this time in my life, I’ve come to realize that now is not that time. I have to live my age, an age where it’s easier to take risks, an age where I’m going to be bombarded with so many dreams that I wouldn’t know which ones matter, an age where failure does not mean the end.
This world is so vast and there’s so much for me to see. But it doesn’t have to be now because I can’t have everything right now.
I need to live the life I’m given to understand the life I want for myself.
Maybe the dreams I chase now will get me nowhere, but in chasing these dreams, I might stumble across the dream that takes me to my forever. And for that, I’m willing to put time and energy, a little bit every day, like the fearless kid I once was.
Life is now so I don’t want to lose myself chasing dreams. I’m not going to be this young again so it’s okay if I’m not a genius young prodigy. I can take it slow while still enjoying the freedom and opportunities I have right now.
We’re living in one of the best decades on this planet, and it also turns out to be a decade where change is everything. Let’s not remain stuck in the best moments of our lives for too long, lest the world leaves us behind.
We are going to have so many glimpses of forever along the way that may be transient.
But someday I hope, that all the temporaries remain forever.
I’ve been away for some time now.
I guess I reached a point where I felt like I was writing just for the sake of writing and it started being a little mechanical.
So I took time away from writing and started having newer goals in my life. It’ll take some time to slowly go back to the same frequency as before, but I know that as long as I’m writing with authenticity, the frequency doesn’t matter.
Hope you enjoyed this.
Hello hello. This is Harsh.
You may be reading this for the first time(or not?), but if you’re interested in why I write, you can write the About section of my profile.
Put simply, I write about things that I think I’d like to tell myself. I attempt to collate all my dispersed thoughts into a single flow of thought.
If you enjoy reading my work, I hope you can check out my podcast, my audio library of thoughts, Within 5 Minutes, where I try to do justice to these words (terribly!)
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Email — harsh@ctrlaltgrow.com
