You know that feeling when we’re looking forward to something for so long, counting the days until the big moment, and when it finally arrives, it turns into an absolute embarrassment?
We think we’re prepared to face anything, no matter what happens. But when we’re in that moment, we see our worst fears staring back at us with a seriousness that tells no tales. All our months of hard work vanish instantly, and there’s nothing we can do to change it.
“Life is like that. Nothing ever goes how you plan,” my dad said, trying to console me. “But what you can do is accept the defeat and come back stronger next time.”
“Will there be a next time?” I wondered to myself.
Like a torch gradually losing its power, my ability to see my path began to fade. I was so certain about something until I wasn’t. I felt a heavy weight settle on my shoulders as I replayed the event in my mind. Each mistake, each misstep felt like a scar, burning on my skin. Doubt began to consume me, and I no longer knew where I was headed. I suppose the end is just a part of the journey. But the thought of it was too painful to bear. So I pushed it out of my mind completely. I even stopped doing the things I loved, punishing myself for my inability to pursue my dreams.
Life is cruel; it never misses a chance to knock us down. Just when we think we’re invincible, it swoops in like a hawk and snatches away our dreams right before our eyes. All that remains is the sensation of sand slipping through our fingers. The days that follow become a blur of numbness and we drift through our routines like a ghost, disconnected from the future and the past.
All of us experience failure, perhaps for a reason. Maybe we aren’t ready, or maybe bigger things are waiting for us. But at that moment, none of this makes sense. When life knocks us down, like a chain reaction, we stop doing everything we used to do. We punish ourselves by taking away all sources of normalcy, to feel like we are grieving. We open ourselves up to toxic impulsive decisions and lose ourselves little by little.
I know there’s no right or wrong way to feel in such situations, but if we truly desire something, would we allow ourselves to feel defeated and act as if our dream has ended?
Or would we view it as another obstacle to overcome and find a way to move forward?
We won’t understand why it happened unless we try again. We won’t discover what’s waiting for us unless we make the journey. Sometimes, the longest hikes lead to some mediocre scenic views. But you return with the confidence that you can do it again, knowing the skies will be clear next time. The reward waiting for you will be not once, but twice as satisfying as you initially expected.
So if we have the opportunity to try again, why deny ourselves that chance?
A day will come when we realize we’ve spent enough time feeling down. A day will come when we start to dream again, marking the resurrection of our spirit. But how long will it take to reach that day?
The truth is, we often secretly hope that life will sort itself out. We go with the wave, hoping it will lead us to where we want to be. But life is a continuous series of course corrections where we must improvise to keep going. Nothing will happen unless we make it happen. If we’re beaten down, we’ll stay down unless we make the effort to rise. We have to be our own superhero because no one else is going to save our day.
I know life knocks us real good. It’s humiliating and painful. But if we back down now, we’re admitting defeat. We’re relinquishing control over what we can influence and signalling to everyone that we give up when faced with challenges. A person who keeps fighting is never a loser; the one who surrenders is. So if there’s even an ounce of fight left, we should fight for what we want.
We won’t know about our chances unless we try again. If it doesn’t work out the first time, try again — a second, third, and even a fourth time. Perhaps if we can’t change our fate, we’ll stumble upon something along the way that can.
I’m going to give it another shot, knowing very well, that it might not work out again. Despite all this time, I still think about what might have been if it worked out, and that alone motivates me to get my shit back together. I bombed it the first time, yet here I am, getting through each of my days just fine.
So, what’s the worst that could happen now?
What do I have to lose?
Hi. This is Harsh, the author of this blog.
I’m glad you read my article and hope that there was something that you could resonate with at a deeper level.
I write about things that I think I’d like to tell myself. I attempt to collate all my dispersed thoughts into a single flow of thought. With every article, I try to dig into a certain thought or feeling to make it more comprehensible.
If you enjoy reading my work, I hope you can check out my podcast(I call it my audio library of thoughts), Ctrl Alt Grow, where I try to bring these words to life in the most calming, peaceful way I can.
You can find this audio library in the common music streaming platforms — https://linktr.ee/hacchuu or you can check out the podcast section of this page
You can help me out by buying me a coffee! — https://www.buymeacoffee.com/hacchuu
