There was a guy I knew in university. He was always in good spirits and made the most of any situation thrown at him. In all the time I spent around him, I never once caught sight of him complaining about anything. He was so laid back and easy to get along with. He treated everyone respectfully but at the same time, stood up for himself when the need arose.
I always wondered what made him different. People with such energies were inviting people and you wanted to be around them. Over time, I observed that he never relied on anyone for anything. He didn’t try to fit in or be accepted. Rather, he was okay being by himself and standing out from a crowd full of people. No one could stop him from doing anything he wanted to do because he would not let anyone influence him to that extent.
That’s when I realized what made him different. He loved himself. A lot. He always followed his heart and it made some people feel distant while others like me admire him. People like him are always evolving and growing. Their battles are the same as the rest of the world but they‘ve learnt to love themselves so deeply that it doesn’t show.
What a lot of us often do is attach our self-worth based on the validation we receive from our social circle. We may not like to admit it, but we feel the need to be appreciated and accepted so that we don’t feel alone at the end of the day even if that is an illusion. But that’s the paradox—when you stop caring about what others think, everyone starts caring about you a little more. When we begin to love ourselves a little more each day, we begin to free our spirits from the constant external affirmation.
Imagine a garden within your soul where the flowers of self-appreciation bloom with vibrant colours. As you tend to this garden, you realize that the fragrance of self-love intoxicates your senses and brightens up your day. You wonder why you were so keen on making someone else’s garden your own when all you had to do was water your own flowers and wait for them to fill your life. The richer your garden gets, the less you thirst for external praise or approval.
It’s liberating when we start to love ourselves more. We begin to become a whole, complete individual as we step into the incoming stages of life. We even start to love others positively and fully because we are comfortable with who we are and what we do. That sort of self-love is attractive. In Gen Z lingo, you’d be radiating good vibes. And who doesn’t dig that, no?
But this is easier said than done because we tend to be our harshest critics. We’re surrounded by expectations, judgments and comparisons that we can’t completely break free from. Yet amidst all this, it’s possible to love ourselves more.
It’s a pilgrimage for self-sufficiency and it won’t happen overnight. We must learn to sway to the direction of our thoughts as it is the unfiltered desire that is born from within us. We must continue to water our garden with discipline and eagerness irrespective of whether we’re living our best life or not.
If you ask me, I think it’s more important for us to love ourselves more when life is good so that we don’t lose sight of our real self.
There are times when we will question our decisions and doubt our direction, but slowly, we will start discovering what makes us, us. The more we learn about our quirks and flaws, the more we realize that we don’t need a standing ovation to feel complete. The echoes of the claps are most rewarding when they come from within.
Loving ourselves more is not about shutting the door on others but stepping into their lives with a deep sense of self-approval. Everyone in the outside world is a supporting cast and the applause from the audience is secondary.
In the end, the most important review comes from the one staring back at you in the mirror.
Hi. This is Harsh, the author of this blog.
I’m glad you read my article and hope that there was something that you could resonate with at a deeper level.
I write about things that I think I’d like to tell myself. I attempt to collate all my dispersed thoughts into a single flow of thought. With every article, I try to dig into a certain thought or feeling to make it more comprehensible for anyone seeking a word or two.
If you enjoy reading my work, I hope you can check out my podcast(I call it my audio library of thoughts), Within 5 Minutes, where I try to bring these words to life in the most calming, peaceful way I can.
You can find this audio library in the common music streaming platforms — https://linktr.ee/hacchuu or you can check out the podcast section of this page
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