The last year or so has been a year of changes. Some of my closest friends moved out of the city we grew up in. They stationed themselves on a far-away continent in pursuit of greater opportunities and a better lifestyle. It’s a little subjective, of course, but it made me wonder if the grass was greener on the other side.
And I wasn’t the only one who felt this way. Even my friends pondered if their decision was indeed the right one. They would look at the lives of all the friends they’ve left behind and instantly feel like they’re missing out on so much. Long rides, short trips, and beautiful sunsets — they were no longer a part of the adventures back home. But neither was I a part of theirs. 😔
None of us say this, but all of us feel it. Every time we see the highlights of someone’s life, it feels like we are not living the life we could. We end up in a ‘checking behavior’ and constantly browse our social feeds to see what else we are missing out on. And eventually, that leads to a hyper-vigilant state of comparison, and our sense of normal get’s skewed.
The fear of missing out is a parasite that feeds on our low self-esteem. It catalyzes unreasonable behavior.
When your friends run into Tom Cruise on a trip you didn’t go on, your body instantly switches off all motor functions and you silently vanish from the face of the world. You punish yourself mentally even though you’re aware that the trip was beyond your budget. Why? Because you can’t stand knowing that your friends are having more fun without you.
This triggers a social paralysis and you start believing that everyone has more fun when you’re not around and that nothing exciting happens when you’re around.
“You’re not missing out on anything if you go, but you miss out on everything if you don’t”
— Casually Explained(Youtube channel)
Every moment we chose something, we are missing out on something else, like Yin and Yang.
Do I take it easy and have fun because bad things can happen anytime?
Or do I work hard now, to prepare for the bad things that may happen?
Do I go to parties and live the YOLO life?
Or do I train my mind and body while I’m young because I have the time?
There are millions of amazing things happening in this world, all at once. You can’t be everywhere and do everything at the same time. So think about how much will we value a choice a few years from now vs how much we value the choice right now.
Will it matter after 5 years if you miss out on what you currently fear to miss out on?
“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not;
— Epicurus
remember that what you have now was once among the things you only hoped for”
Someone, somewhere, is living a better life than you are. But are they really living in the moment and appreciating their privilege? I’m not so sure. Because even they could be living in fear of missing out. Human beings tend to focus on what they don’t have than what they do have.
But you and me? We’re going to try and change that.
We’re going to change our perspective and find the joy in missing out. Every choice we make will be the correct choice. There will be no debate there.
“Not setting up camp on a new continent may be an opportunity unexplored, but that is not what I want right now. I seek to have control of my time and explore everything that this beautiful place has to offer!”
Once you realize that you’ve made a solid choice, you’ll realize that missing out isn’t a tragedy, but a victory. It helps keep us from indulging in mindless pleasures and unwanted life choices.
Just because everyone wants it, and everyone does it, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a good idea.
“Hell is wanting to be somewhere else”
So don’t live in the fear of missing out. Own up to your choices and find all the reasons to be grateful for them. Because if you really start to doubt yourself, no matter what you do, you will always miss out on something.
I know you haven’t been listening to my podcast. But guess what, you’re missing out!
Just kidding!
Here’s the thing. I run a podcast, Within 5 Minutes. And because you’re great readers, I know you’re great listeners too. Everything I write, I narrate in my podcast. I won’t lie when I tell you that the podcast has helped me, more than anyone. So if you think you’d like to revisit my thoughts, you can head to my podcast, Within 5 Minutes, which serves as an audio library for these blogs — https://linktr.ee/hacchuu
You can also get a preview of the podcast content in the podcast section of the CtrlAltGrow website.
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