It’s Not Part Of My Plan.

You know, there are days when I scroll through my feed and see the world rushing in one direction. Everyone seems to be chasing dreams that glitter the same way for all. There’s always another headline, another celebration, another event that people insist you must be part of.

Think crypto launches, exclusive retreats, concert videos, viral challenges, and sold-out advertisements. Each one packaged as if missing it would mean missing the future itself.

And yet, more often than not, I find myself stepping back and quietly telling myself, “It’s not part of my plan.”

That doesn’t mean I haven’t jumped into things out of FOMO. I have. I’ve joined the crypto bandwagon. I’ve signed up for the occasional trend. I’ve clicked “register” because I felt left behind. I’m only human. Curiosity pulls at me. The fear of missing out is real, and sometimes, I do follow it.

But over time, not everything pulls me the way it used to. I’ve started to pause. I’ve started to ask, “Do I really want this, or do I just want to not be left out?” And that question, more than anything, has helped me draw a boundary. Not to shut the world out, but to make space for my own rhythm.

I used to think that meant I was missing something. That maybe I wasn’t doing enough. That maybe, because I wasn’t present in those echo chambers of popularity, I’d regret it someday. But I’ve come to realize that missing out is only real if what you’re missing was ever truly meant for you. And this endless race to be everywhere, to belong to everything, was never mine to begin with.

I’ve never been drawn to the center of the crowd simply because it’s where everyone gathers. I’ve always been more curious about the corners. The soft edges where stories unfold more slowly but with far more honesty. That’s where you hear the silence between words. That’s where you feel meaning in the stillness. Life doesn’t always need to shout. Sometimes it chooses to whisper. And I want to learn how to listen.

I don’t want to chase things just because others are running toward them. I want to walk at my own pace. Sometimes that means walking alone. Sometimes, there might be only one or two others beside me, moving in quiet agreement. I don’t want to say yes to every opportunity that appears, no matter how golden it may seem. Some doors lead to rooms that were never built for me. Not because those places are wrong, but because they don’t help me grow in the way I’m meant to. And for me, growth needs to be honest. It needs to be real. Not just impressive.

Picture a tree in a forest. The tallest one often catches the light first. It stands out. Its leaves shimmer. But deeper in the shade, there’s a smaller tree. It spreads its roots wide, quietly building strength. No one stops to admire it. But that tree is preparing to withstand the fiercest storm. That’s how I want to grow. Slowly. Silently. Purposefully. Not for applause, but for resilience.

I’ve seen people bend themselves just to fit into places that never welcomed their true selves. I’ve seen them wear version after version of themselves, trying to keep up. Over time, their spark dims. I’ve felt that dimming in myself, too, on the days I’ve forced it. And I don’t want to live that way. I won’t run toward something just because it looks warm from afar. I’d rather wait for the warmth that feels like home, even if I have to sit in the dark for a while.

My plan doesn’t come with spotlights. It’s not curated for attention. It’s shaped by calm evenings, honest conversations, stillness, and reflection. It’s shaped by choosing who I want to be, not what I want to be seen doing. I want to move toward a life where I can simply say, “That’s not for me,” and feel peace in that choice. Not pride. Not superiority. Just peace.

So no, I don’t feel bad for missing out. I don’t feel a void when I turn down things that others celebrate. Every time I walk away from something that doesn’t fit me, I’m walking toward something that does. I’m not building a life that looks impressive from the outside. I’m building a life that feels right on the inside.

You are not behind. You’re simply on a different path. It may not be loud. It may not be quick. But it is yours.

You do not need the whole world to see you. You only need to keep seeing yourself with clarity and compassion.

That is enough.
That has always been enough.

Because you weren’t made to keep up.
You were made to grow into something real.

CtrlAltGrow is my passion project to bring to life all the little creativity I have in my head. All my work, the podcast & my blogs, will be part of this library of thoughts.

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